When the Holidays Hurt.

I really wanted this to be a post that had a positive message. Truly, I did. I was hoping for something like: “How to survive the holidays after a divorce” or “7 ways to find your sanity and happiness during the holiday season”. I wanted this to be a “If I can survive the holidays,…

Foxhole Friends

I am a fierce friend. I am the faithful dog that always comes back to be by your side, to help you when you’re struggling. I am the foxhole friend, the one who jumps right into the shit with you no matter what. I do not easily give up on people that I have let…

The Game

I really hate admitting this, but I need to because it’s the truth, I am depressed. I have most of the signs and symptoms. Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood, feelings of hopelessness, feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness, loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities, decreased energy, difficulty sleeping, loss of appetite.…

Family of Three

I took the kids camping for a few days this week. It was a gorgeous spot situated right on a lake, complete with beachy-mud-sand. We had the place to ourselves and the weather could not have been better. Endless blue skies, big juicy clouds, and afternoon storms that would rage their way through our camp…

The Invisible Child

I have finally found the source of my hurt and my pain. The place where my anxiety and PTSD reside. The space within me that reacts with such an intense, emotional ferocity that I separate from reality. Reality becomes too frightening, and my brain protects me by disassociating. It is terrifying. It is debilitating. It…

Boundaries Are Vitally Important.

  Boundaries are about putting yourself first. They are about loving yourself and protecting yourself. When we establish reasonable boundaries in our lives, we are saying to ourselves: “I love myself enough to recognize that this behavior, or this toxic person in my life, does not serve me in any kind of healthy way, Boundaries are…

I’m Taking Back My Power

I lost mine for a long while. Or at the very least, I kept giving too much of it away. I lost my power in being a wife, in being a mother, in being someone’s lover. I let myself give and give until there was nothing left. I watched as my pieces floated away. I…

Everything was fine. Nobody was happy.

“How could anyone not fall in love with you?” My husband uttered those words to me when we first opened our marriage up to the idea of polyamory. We were in bed, snuggled up, surfing the web. We had just created our first online dating profiles and found ourselves completely addicted to, and fascinated by,…