Intovert struggles

Lets take a break from the big feels. Lets talk about introversion.

I took the MBTI – Meyers Briggs personality indicator thingy. I came to discover that I am an ISFJ. And the most important finding of all was that I am (apparently) 95% introverted. This doesn’t mean that I am shy. It doesn’t mean that I am quiet, or a bitch, or a loner. It means that when I am out and about with people, in the world, interacting with humans, I get drained. Exhausted, walloped, bushwhackeled (I think I just made that word up). I need alone time and quiet and calm to recharge and feel better. Extroverts love to socialize and be out and about – they gain their energy from being around people and interacting with humans (shudder).

Yesterday, I took my minions to see the ‘Wild Kratts Live’ up in Loveland. The show was long and loud, the kid behind me kept kicking my seat. I was overstimulated the entire time. It was an hour drive each way, I had my son on my body through the duration of the show (he is sick), my daughter wiggled like she had ants in her pants the entire time. After about 3 hours, we left and drove home. I WAS EXHAUSTED. The kids had a blast, I came home and promptly cancelled my adult plans because I just could not. I could not talk to anyone for the rest of the day. I was in my pajamas by 6pm, blissfully sitting on my couch, alone, typing away.

I love being an introvert. I feel such peace knowing that I have boundaries that I must set and respect for my own sanity. It is one of the few things I actually like about being separated from my husband and having my kids part-time – my house is empty 3 nights a week and I am all alone. There is a flip side to this – being introverted makes it hard to find and maintain relationships with people. It seems to me that most people I meet are extroverted and want to hang out and do things. Like get dressed! And see-my-face things! They want to make plans and hang out and when I bail last-minute (which I have been doing a lot) not only do I suffer terrible guilt, I fear that people will stop inviting me and asking me to do things completely. Most people just do not understand why anyone would rather be at home alone on a Saturday night than out partying or whatever it is that people do when they are busy humaning out of the house. It’s the rare friend that doesn’t take it personally and allows for me to take my space when I need it – plans be damned. I value those friendships above all else. Because who wants people in their lives who do not understand or respect what makes you, YOU?

 Find out who you are:


  1. Vendla

    I was professionally tested 9 months ago on a job seminar (had never heard about it until then) – and I am an INFJ as well! (And terribly codependent, with DPD and c-ptsd from my long standing abusive relationship – working on all this now). Knowing that I’m an INFJ has been so great. I have always felt different from other people, but now I see why, and there are more people like me out there! I think it is easy for us to become codependent because of our extraverted sensing and feeling. We need to work on our introverted sensing and feeling functions. It is hard work! Hugs to you!


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