From children of divorce

DBT: Dialectical Behavioral Therapy

I have been promising to share with you some thoughts on DBT – dialectical behavioral therapy. I have been attending weekly sessions on this amazing practice for a few months now. DBT focuses on mindfulness as a daily practice and also presents different “modules” that focus on such topics as interpersonal communication, distress tolerance, emotion…

How NOT to treat a human being

There is so much rage coursing through me. I cannot control it and I don’t want to. I shouldn’t have to. Typically, I will get what I call a ‘rage-hangover’, because I am usually lambasting my ex and he shames me for my anger, he always has. I end up texting him relentlessly, telling him…

In order to find forgiveness, something must die.

Earlier this month, I was lucky enough to see Brene Brown speak in Lakewood, Colorado. Over the course of 5 hours, she relayed personal stories and spoke about her new book, Rising Strong. She touched on spirituality, forgiveness, vulnerability, and her book: the Rumble, the Reckoning, and the Revolution. She talked about being brave enough to fail, fall…

After the Children

I am in the rabbit hole. I am at the bottom of my rollercoaster. My husband just called my blog – this blog – “absurd, self-indulgent bullshit” My hurt is real. My feelings of inadequacy and rejection – those are real. My abandonment, my pain, my feelings of guilt, rejection, betrayal, ALL REAL. My blog…

A reality I do not want to face

I hate to have to do this. I don’t want to talk about it, write about it, complain about it…But fuck, I am freaking out about money. The stark reality of having one income instead of two is currently unnerving me. With a legal separation and with a divorce, come separate finances. Separate incomes, bills,…

Why the mom-guilt should fuck right off

This day has been about the the hard stuff. The single parent bullshit stuff I don’t want to deal with. I woke up sick and exhausted. I’ve got my kids for the next 3 days; which, don’t get me wrong, I am simply thrilled about. However, being this run down is making me feel like a shitty…

In Defense of Polyamory

I would like to make something very clear. Polyamory was not the direct cause of the dissolution of my marriage. It was an indirect cause. It ignited a fire in a relationship that was already fractured (mixed metaphors, I know). You can count on poly to be a lot of hard work, emotional upheaval, and,…

Polyamory 101 and how we fucked it up

There were so many fucking times my husband and I should have stopped our failed attempt at polyamory. We had actual conversations and examined it from every angle. Should we stop? Is this hurting us or making us stronger? What if this breaks us? What about the kids? We seriously had these conversations and always…

Monster Family

The picture above was drawn by my 7-year-old daughter right after the split. She titled it “Monster Family” and bawled her eyes out when we talked about it. She drew herself wide eyed and anxious (bottom right). Divorce is a nightmare. No matter what your circumstance, your situation, it is horrific and I wouldn’t wish…