From depression

Beauty in Breakdown

I am giving you permission to fall apart. To crumble and drop to your knees. To cry so hard you can’t catch your breath and your whole body trembles. I want you to know that it is okay to break and feel like you are losing your mind. It is okay to feel hopeless. To…

Resilience

I am in love with this word. The sheer power in evokes for me internally is enough right there. But it is so much more than that. It is strength, fierceness, power, fighting back, never giving up, never surrendering. It means that when life throws you a curve ball, you catch the damn thing and…

Relationship Addiction

Hi. My name is Amy and I am a relationship addict. Yes, it is a thing. A very real and very debilitating thing. From Ann Smith via Psychology Today: The relationship addict experiences intense “abandonment anxiety”. This anxiety triggers panic, low self worth, feelings of emptiness, isolation, and possibly depression. The addict may believe they are worthless without their partner.…

The Seasons Change (but sometimes we get stuck)

I was in my yard the other day and there were leaves on the ground – not on the trees where they SHOULD be; all green and perky, glinting with dappled sunshine. The leaves I saw were brown and crunchy; shriveled and dead, pathetic. I internally shuddered. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love fall.…

Grief.

Grieving feels like being tangled up, suffocating, choking on your own emotions. It feels like a wave, a tsunami of unknown and uncertain. It feels like falling through space with nothing familiar to land on. It feels like pulling out your hair, running around in circles and hitting wall after wall after wall. It feels utterly…

Patience.

Patience. I seem to have lost mine. Not sure I ever had much to begin with though. I have been trying to be mindful of that secret inner voice – the unspoken push from my busy brain. It has been sending me messages of: Should. Could. Would. Those 3 words in all of their variations…

A Dark Cold Lake

Sometimes I feel like I am treading water. I can barely keep my head above the water line. I am furiously working my body so I can stay afloat and not drown. I keep fighting the pressure pushing me down and under. I don’t want to give in. I will not give in! Sometimes though, I…