From forgiveness

Foxhole Friends

I am a fierce friend. I am the faithful dog that always comes back to be by your side, to help you when you’re struggling. I am the foxhole friend, the one who jumps right into the shit with you no matter what. I do not easily give up on people that I have let…

Everything was fine. Nobody was happy.

“How could anyone not fall in love with you?” My husband uttered those words to me when we first opened our marriage up to the idea of polyamory. We were in bed, snuggled up, surfing the web. We had just created our first online dating profiles and found ourselves completely addicted to, and fascinated by,…

I am So Sorry

Sometimes I feel like you left because you were bored and restless. I feel like you left because you were unsatisfied with our marriage, our family, and your place within the life you and I had created together. I don’t think you wanted the responsibility of having a family or a mortgage. I believe that…

Patience.

Patience. I seem to have lost mine. Not sure I ever had much to begin with though. I have been trying to be mindful of that secret inner voice – the unspoken push from my busy brain. It has been sending me messages of: Should. Could. Would. Those 3 words in all of their variations…

DBT: Dialectical Behavioral Therapy

I have been promising to share with you some thoughts on DBT – dialectical behavioral therapy. I have been attending weekly sessions on this amazing practice for a few months now. DBT focuses on mindfulness as a daily practice and also presents different “modules” that focus on such topics as interpersonal communication, distress tolerance, emotion…

How NOT to treat a human being

There is so much rage coursing through me. I cannot control it and I don’t want to. I shouldn’t have to. Typically, I will get what I call a ‘rage-hangover’, because I am usually lambasting my ex and he shames me for my anger, he always has. I end up texting him relentlessly, telling him…

The Rollercoaster

Today has been an emotional rollercoaster. I started off up high, at the top, looking down at the track in front of me. I couldn’t see the bottom; I was amazed at just how low it went. It was pitch dark down there and it made me feel a bit uneasy just to look at…

Digging Deep

Most days I wake up feeling a tightness in my chest. I feel instantly anxious; filled with emotions that range from hopeful and present, to scared and confused. For a long stretch of time, I was feeling good. My husband and I got into a routine with the kids – they do 3.5 days with…

In order to find forgiveness, something must die.

Earlier this month, I was lucky enough to see Brene Brown speak in Lakewood, Colorado. Over the course of 5 hours, she relayed personal stories and spoke about her new book, Rising Strong. She touched on spirituality, forgiveness, vulnerability, and her book: the Rumble, the Reckoning, and the Revolution. She talked about being brave enough to fail, fall…