From single parent

The Guilt of Divorce.

Two days ago I told my ex that I wished our children had never been born. And in that moment, I meant it. Let me be very clear – I LOVE MY CHILDREN. They are amazing; kind, smart, loving, and a pain in the ass when they want to be. I grew them for fuck’s…

Age. Apparently, It’s a Thing.

I am finally acknowledging something that hurts to admit. My age is starting to bug me. It is becoming a ‘thing’ my mind keeps coming back to. And per usual, I need to pay some attention to these thoughts; to process through them and make sense of the acute physical distress they are currently causing…

The Secret Inner Drive

There is a disconnect within my mind; thoughts buried so deep, they tug at my subconscious. I am trying very hard to acknowledge them though they feel primal and hard to access. I want to pay more attention to my very busy inner mind; the driving force behind some of my behavior. I want to separate my rich inner…

Straight up RANT.

I had to go into hiding; lockdown. I have been faced with yet another monstrous hurdle in this shit-show called divorce. The ex wants my kids (aged 9 and 7) to live in a home with multiple people; one of whom I do not know. Adults. His girlfriend is one of them and another male…

A reality I do not want to face

I hate to have to do this. I don’t want to talk about it, write about it, complain about it…But fuck, I am freaking out about money. The stark reality of having one income instead of two is currently unnerving me. With a legal separation and with a divorce, come separate finances. Separate incomes, bills,…

The curious paradox

I am not sure who I am sometimes. Take away my marriage, my primary relationship of the past 16 years, and I am lost. Take away my family, my role as a mother; change it from full-time to part-time, and I am lost. I had a vision not too long ago; wide awake and crystal clear.…

Why the mom-guilt should fuck right off

This day has been about the the hard stuff. The single parent bullshit stuff I don’t want to deal with. I woke up sick and exhausted. I’ve got my kids for the next 3 days; which, don’t get me wrong, I am simply thrilled about. However, being this run down is making me feel like a shitty…