Tagged divorce

Birthday Thoughts

Today is my 43rd birthday. One year ago today, I wrote my first blog post. I was so distraught and so completely rocked with grief and emotion, my head and heart felt like they were exploding. I was working through SO MUCH and I needed an outlet. So, I bought a laptop, and I started…

Chrysalis Soup

From National Geographic: But what goes on inside a pupa? We know that a larva releases enzymes that break down many of its tissues into their constituent proteins. Textbooks will commonly talk about the insect dissolving into a kind of “soup”, but that’s not entirely accurate. Some organs stay intact. Others, like muscles, break down into…

Relationship Addiction

Hi. My name is Amy and I am a relationship addict. Yes, it is a thing. A very real and very debilitating thing. From Ann Smith via Psychology Today: The relationship addict experiences intense “abandonment anxiety”. This anxiety triggers panic, low self worth, feelings of emptiness, isolation, and possibly depression. The addict may believe they are worthless without their partner.…

L.O.V.E.

I have been having some of the most beautiful and poignant discussions around love lately. What it looks like, what it feels like, how it grows or fades, what it needs to blossom, and what it takes to make it go away. Because let’s be honest, sometimes we do need to make it go away.…

The Seasons Change (but sometimes we get stuck)

I was in my yard the other day and there were leaves on the ground – not on the trees where they SHOULD be; all green and perky, glinting with dappled sunshine. The leaves I saw were brown and crunchy; shriveled and dead, pathetic. I internally shuddered. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love fall.…

Giving In and Letting Go.

*I wrote this post yesterday; today I am just fine* I cannot escape grief today. It is sitting on my shoulders and won’t leave me alone. It keeps whispering in my ear things like: He left you. He doesn’t love you. You are a fuck up. Your kids are damaged. This is all your fault.…

The Guilt of Divorce.

Two days ago I told my ex that I wished our children had never been born. And in that moment, I meant it. Let me be very clear – I LOVE MY CHILDREN. They are amazing; kind, smart, loving, and a pain in the ass when they want to be. I grew them for fuck’s…

Age. Apparently, It’s a Thing.

I am finally acknowledging something that hurts to admit. My age is starting to bug me. It is becoming a ‘thing’ my mind keeps coming back to. And per usual, I need to pay some attention to these thoughts; to process through them and make sense of the acute physical distress they are currently causing…

Denial.

No one is immune. No one gets a free pass. Every single person in this world hurts, suffers, rages, and cries. Not all of the time, but definitely some of the time; some people more than others. We all ebb and flow through our emotions just as we ebb and flow through our lives. I…