Tagged longing

L.O.V.E.

I have been having some of the most beautiful and poignant discussions around love lately. What it looks like, what it feels like, how it grows or fades, what it needs to blossom, and what it takes to make it go away. Because let’s be honest, sometimes we do need to make it go away.…

Denial.

No one is immune. No one gets a free pass. Every single person in this world hurts, suffers, rages, and cries. Not all of the time, but definitely some of the time; some people more than others. We all ebb and flow through our emotions just as we ebb and flow through our lives. I…

Connection

Connection. Why is it so important? Why does something so (seemingly) simple hold so much weight? I know connection is what is missing from my life. Real, genuine, meaningful connection. I have interactions with other humans throughout my day; the small and the large variety of bipedal creatures. I am blessed with wonderful people that…

The Secret Inner Drive

There is a disconnect within my mind; thoughts buried so deep, they tug at my subconscious. I am trying very hard to acknowledge them though they feel primal and hard to access. I want to pay more attention to my very busy inner mind; the driving force behind some of my behavior. I want to separate my rich inner…

The ‘Off’ Switch

Where is the ‘off’ switch? Where is it located, dammit? On my heart? Somewhere in the folds of my brain? I am trying SO HARD to accept that love isn’t something I can just shut off any more than I can stop breathing. The love I am speaking of is a love that is familiar and comfy;…

(The Terror of) Opening Up

My fluctuations in mood, my state of being, and my every single moment-to-moment, keep having this disastrous effect on me. Their unpredictability and persistence are really messing with my mind and my confidence that this will some day be OVER. That every day will eventually be an empowered and happy one where I am totally self-reliant,…

Emotional Lasagna

I’ve been thinking a lot about loneliness and how layered it is. My brain keeps calling it ’emotional lasagna’. When it comes up for me, it ranges from biting and sharp to a dull ache that persists for days. Sometimes loneliness is like a slap in the face laced with a stark emptiness and despair.…

Little Moments

It’s the little moments. They seem to hit the hardest and make the tears flow. First day at a new job, thrilled and excited and SLAM. A wall hits me in the face because the person I would have called for the past 16 years is not there anymore. Being on a plane, alone, for a…