Tagged parenting

Do Not Love Me.

The kids and their dad move into the new house together with the girlfriend this weekend. This major transition is bringing up some seriously weird emotional shit for me. I know that it is my trauma rearing it’s ugly head in another attempt to shut me off emotionally once again. I feel separate from the kids…

The End.

It’s been a crazy 36 hours. I got divorced yesterday. At 8:30 in the morning. I found myself sitting next to a complete stranger; a person I might have thought was cute had I passed him on the street, but still, a stranger. This person sitting next to me on the bench felt oddly familiar…

Straight up RANT.

I had to go into hiding; lockdown. I have been faced with yet another monstrous hurdle in this shit-show called divorce. The ex wants my kids (aged 9 and 7) to live in a home with multiple people; one of whom I do not know. Adults. His girlfriend is one of them and another male…

From monogamy to polyamory………… a checklist (of sorts)

Do you have what it takes? You have been thinking about becoming polyamorous. You find that the lifestyle resonates deeply with you emotionally, intellectually, spiritually. But are you truly prepared to unwind years of monogamy? Years of social conditioning and systematic reinforcement that you only need one person, a soul mate, a ’till death do us…

Digging Deep

Most days I wake up feeling a tightness in my chest. I feel instantly anxious; filled with emotions that range from hopeful and present, to scared and confused. For a long stretch of time, I was feeling good. My husband and I got into a routine with the kids – they do 3.5 days with…

In order to find forgiveness, something must die.

Earlier this month, I was lucky enough to see Brene Brown speak in Lakewood, Colorado. Over the course of 5 hours, she relayed personal stories and spoke about her new book, Rising Strong. She touched on spirituality, forgiveness, vulnerability, and her book: the Rumble, the Reckoning, and the Revolution. She talked about being brave enough to fail, fall…

After the Children

I am in the rabbit hole. I am at the bottom of my rollercoaster. My husband just called my blog – this blog – “absurd, self-indulgent bullshit” My hurt is real. My feelings of inadequacy and rejection – those are real. My abandonment, my pain, my feelings of guilt, rejection, betrayal, ALL REAL. My blog…

A reality I do not want to face

I hate to have to do this. I don’t want to talk about it, write about it, complain about it…But fuck, I am freaking out about money. The stark reality of having one income instead of two is currently unnerving me. With a legal separation and with a divorce, come separate finances. Separate incomes, bills,…