Tagged trigger

Compersion and NRE a blissful combination or a recipe for disaster?

Compersion. NRE. Two of the most popular terms thrown around in poly circles. Compersion is defined as “the positive feelings one gets when a lover is enjoying another relationship”. Jealousy be damned, if you are polyamorous, compersion is the mecca of feelings. If you are successful in feeling compersion, then Welcome, Friends! You are officially amazing at…

In Defense of Polyamory

I would like to make something very clear. Polyamory was not the direct cause of the dissolution of my marriage. It was an indirect cause. It ignited a fire in a relationship that was already fractured (mixed metaphors, I know). You can count on poly to be a lot of hard work, emotional upheaval, and,…

How polyamory cracked me wide open

Polyamory. Heard of it? It is a lifestyle choice. It is the belief that ethical non-monogamy is a more natural way of love and life for some (not all) people. It rests on the belief that no one person can meet all of your needs. No one relationship can fulfill you; that monogamy is not a…

The tendrils of Codependency

Every single morning I wake up in a panic. Maybe not full-blown, but touches of anxiety that range from a tight chest and stomach, to feelings of worthlessness, despair, and longing. I have been in a codependent relationship for the last 16 years. I am now trying to untangle the cords that have bound me to…

This is what trauma looks like…

I wrote this post in an actual triggered state: Trauma and triggered moments are my nightmare. They come at random and they hijack my brain, my mind, my being. They take charge and whisper in my ear: you are alone, you are worthless, you are unloveable, and you are damaged. They fill me with fear,…