Tagged vulnerability

Vulnerability Hangover

*A bit of a rant this morning as I work my way through this latest hurdle* I have a vulnerability hangover and it’s bad. I opened myself up completely to someone and let love back into my life and into my heart; slowly and steadily over the past 5 months. I said goodbye to this…

Vulnerability and Expectation

(Trigger warning. Some mildly graphic details of parental death) There are two themes that keep coming up for me. In my thoughts, conversations, reading, and in my writing. The first is vulnerability. The second, expectation. I don’t think the two are in any way connected, but I am certain that they are a part of…

A Dark Cold Lake

Sometimes I feel like I am treading water. I can barely keep my head above the water line. I am furiously working my body so I can stay afloat and not drown. I keep fighting the pressure pushing me down and under. I don’t want to give in. I will not give in! Sometimes though, I…

Do Not Love Me.

The kids and their dad move into the new house together with the girlfriend this weekend. This major transition is bringing up some seriously weird emotional shit for me. I know that it is my trauma rearing it’s ugly head in another attempt to shut me off emotionally once again. I feel separate from the kids…

Manifesto 

I got my name back this morning. I am once again Amy Moreno; officially. There is so much power in this for me; it feels like being reborn. The entire process wasn’t that exciting but the aftermath spawned this; I am on chapter 5 my friends, and I have never been happier. I will never…

Have you evolved?

A few days ago, I read a blog post that discussed non-monogamy vs. monogamy and the fact that these two lifestyle choices are often pitted against one another. And, more specifically, that mono people are often perceived as being ‘close-minded’ for their choices. The author touched on something that got me thinking – something I experienced…

(The Terror of) Opening Up

My fluctuations in mood, my state of being, and my every single moment-to-moment, keep having this disastrous effect on me. Their unpredictability and persistence are really messing with my mind and my confidence that this will some day be OVER. That every day will eventually be an empowered and happy one where I am totally self-reliant,…

The Rollercoaster

Today has been an emotional rollercoaster. I started off up high, at the top, looking down at the track in front of me. I couldn’t see the bottom; I was amazed at just how low it went. It was pitch dark down there and it made me feel a bit uneasy just to look at…